I’d write a longer post today, but I feel the need to get started on my Post GOP Tax Plan financial life. First, I need to get cracking on the purchase of my private jet. I’ve been thinking of a Gulfstream G650, but I may have to settle for a Dassault Falcon 900. Either way I am assured that I can deduct the expenses involved in this purchase. So, some public school teachers have to dig into their pockets for paper, and other school supplies, for someone else’s children? So. What. If those needy-greedies will just have some patience I might get around to hiring someone who lives in their district who might pay property taxes. But, maybe not.
Speaking of education, I should get on the horn and let younger relatives who are in graduate school know that the tax plan benefiting the Rich will mean that they will be liable for taxes on their tuition waivers — that they’re actually earning some sub-minimal pittance for slaving away on research which will never bear their names is of no consequence. Well, at least they can file their returns on one sheet of paper.
Meanwhile, I ought to look into getting my offspring into some pricier private schools. Why? Because I can deduct the costs of their pricey-private-tuition while those silly grad students, especially the ones in STEM subjects, will be paying on their tuition waivers and won’t be able to deduct the interest on their student loans. They could be looking at 400% increases in their taxes. Bad for them. So nice for me!
This means I will be able to focus on the important things in my life, like managing my tax deductible golf courses. After all, golf is relaxing, relaxed people are more productive, and more productive people earn more. Therefore, they are of greater good to society. Greater, that is, in comparison to those little drones who manicure the greens and keep the landscaping trimmed.
And, what a lovely gift to the Middle Class that they will not have to deduct the interest on their home mortgages on properties costing more than $500K. They shouldn’t be shopping in those districts anyway. So, housing prices are a little creepy in some areas? Pretty high in some parts of the country? Just stay away from high market homes in areas with high paying jobs! Problem solved.
Okay, there might be some security issues — like disallowing deductions for state and local property taxes means that police, fire, and emergency services will get pinched. But, this is a small price to pay for Freedom from Big Government. Or little government. Or, any government. There could be some quality of life issues too. Eliminating deductions for SALT could mean further pressure on budgets for public hospitals, schools, parks, and libraries. Oh well, nothing the Gotrocks Family has to deal with.
The bills could, however hurt my accountant — if the inheritance tax is eliminated and the AMT is gone, then I don’t have to worry about creating elaborate tax dodging schemes to prevent paying “more than I should,” meaning — more than I want to. However, this doesn’t necessarily mean my accountant should be all that worried. After all, I can still ask him to find ways to further protect my gains — like turning the Gotrocks Family into the Gotrocks Family LLC so we get the benefits of the Pass Through Loophole.
The House version of the Great Tax Shift (Did I mean to type “Shaft?”) eliminates deductions for major medical expenses. Perhaps my accountant’s employees should hope for the Senate version, in case I give them heart attacks with my continual demands that they find more ways to hide more of my money. Only old people have big medical expenses anyway. Ah, the good old days when Grandpa died in his bed at home, surrounded by family. Why should he go to a hospital for palliative care when it would be cheaper to pass away on the sofa? The House version also eliminates the deduction for alimony payments — now, this could be an issue!
Too much alimony and I might have to head to a foreign country? No problem. The tax plan could help. Remember that major short term tax breaks go to corporations. Foreign investors own about 35% of all shares, thus when the short term benefits of the tax plan go to shareholders — Shazaam! — of the $200 billion in savings expected by the corporations 35% will go to foreign investors. That could be something like $70 billion?
So, as I gaze upon the picture of the Secretary of the Treasury and his bride proudly displaying a whole sheet of wonderful Money, I remember that the Tax Plan is meant for the Gotrocks (LLC) — who benefit from university research but don’t want to pay for it, who benefit from local police, fire, and emergency services, but don’t want to pay for it, who benefit from schools, parks, and libraries, but don’t want to pay for them.
Happy the Gotrocks will be when there is no AMT to insure we pay at least Something. When there is no inheritance tax! When those Little People Out There In The Dark will be paying to support the services I enjoy! On behalf of the Gotrocks Family LLC: God Bless America!